We were sitting by the fire the other day, watching an army of ants frantically scramble out of a log that we had just thrown in as fuel. They were scrambling in panic over a small surface, back and forth between the end of the log and the flames. We asked each other if we should pull the log out but we ended up telling ourselves that they’d be fine and they would find a way to crawl down. But there was hesitation. I realized that we hesitated a few seconds too long when they started falling off the log. It almost looked like they were synchronized, jumping off one-by-one. (Do ants jump?) Not sure if they were dropping because they were trying to get away or if they were getting confused and losing consciousness from the smoke. Also not sure if they were falling into the flames.
I’ve been thinking about these ants for the last couple of days. I feel oddly sentimental and guilty. These feelings are a little strange considering that I didn’t feel much remorse about a dragonfly that I caught which I then fed to a spider. Don’t know how I can come to terms with my actions in one situation but not my non-action in the other.