My anxiety is finally dissipating. I think a lot of it was because I finally expressed how I was feeling instead of bottling it all in.
M says I struggle a lot with interpersonal relationships. And he’s absolutely right. I constantly find myself in a situation where I have to choose between doing the right thing and not upsetting anyone. But I think the thing I struggle with most is feeling extremely sensitive when I feel like something is unfair and wrong. I can’t seem to disconnect myself emotionally.
It’s not all the time.
Sometime I feel everything. If I see a friend in an unsavoury situation that I’ve been through before, I can profoundly relate to it. In these situations I feel a heavy sense of injustice and I feel my stomach churn. I feel like something should be done but I’m not sure if I should be the one doing something about it.
But other times I feel nothing. If a friend is going through something I’ve never experienced myself, I’m happy to help but I don’t feel so crippled.
This is something that I understand about myself pretty well. It’s odd, but when I remember that I’m probably autistic — it makes much more sense.
In any case, I hope this semster is going to be a good one. I’m going to take active steps in readjusting myself so I can make sure that my needs are met.
It’s day 2 out of my 14-day quarantine in Singapore. I found myself serving it at JW Marriott South Beach. Apparently JW’s are more premium compared to traditional Marriott hotels? The marketing confuses me.
I have to say that the stay has been quite refreshing. I have plenty of space and the amenities are nice. I even have a bathtub. (I ordered a bunch of Lush stuff yesterday night!) It’s a completely different experience from serving my quarantine at Hotel V Lavender. Remember those plastic water bottles that were filled with “Hair and Body Shampoo” and “Toilet Bowl Cleaner”? Yikes. And those individual sheets of toilet paper… not fun. But this time around, I have shampoo and body (not this two-in-one bullshit) and a bidet so I have to say that I’m sitting pretty happy.
It’s been a fascinating experiencing both the lower and higher end of quarantine experiences. I really wonder whether or not I got set up in this place because I was entering through the “familial” lane as opposed to the “student pass” lane. I wouldn’t put it past the government to do some tweaking.