“Hehe” is probably the worse thing to look at when you’re depressed. Friends have been trying to offer me consolation… but sometimes the things they end up saying make me feel worse off. Like “hehe”.

I feel like I have no one to talk to. I think about reaching out and then I can’t help but stop myself because I don’t want to burden anyone or anyone more than I already have. I know that’s on me. But even for the times I’ve been selfish, throwing all this on another, I feel like they can’t really offer the solace I need. So why bother? I’m better off grabbing the stranger next to me, sob into their shoulder, and walk away without speaking or seeing them again. If I hired a therapist, I wonder if they’d let me do that.

If there’s any one thing I could do right now, I’d stop thinking about others. The inability to do that is so frustrating that it makes me cry. I just really want to focus on my feelings and focus on myself.