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it’s ceaseless, these nightmares.

More nightmares.

I dreamt I was in a mall, like the really big ones in Asia. I was taking a photo of a group people I just met and I really liked. I wanted something to remember them by. Most of them were a lot younger and very excitable. Before they could stand still for me to get my shot, a massive guy came up behind me and groped me. I told him off. He did it again, almost in a spiteful manner. He didn’t stop. He had a friend who came to do the same who was just as massive. I just kept telling them to stop, go away, and I was yelling that I was being sexually harassed. (Where were my friends at this point?) At this point it came to mind that someone once told me that maybe men misinterpret the tone of voice. I asked myself how that could be possible in this situation. I got extremely aggressive and told him off again. I set one of them off. He threatened to hurt me and kill me. I egged him on. He started towards me. I ran. They both came after me. They didn’t seem to be in any rush to get to me. I ran as fast as I could but when I looked back, they were still coming towards with a menacing saunter. I was going to hit a dead end at the other side of the mall. I was frantically looking for help like security but couldn’t find anyone.

M and I were talking on the phone. He said I could go over to his place but he was preoccupied. He sounded reluctant. I went over. There were people all over his place, laying on the floor. The TV was on but no one seemed to be watching it. M was sitting on a couch with two other women. Like a few others in the room, he was in his underwear. He didn’t seem preoccupied at all. He didn’t acknowledge that I had come in. In fact, no one acknowledged me. No one seemed to care about anything. Was everyone high? He continued talking to the girls next to him, something to do with his sexual endeavors. I felt uncomfortable. I settled myself down among the others, closer to the TV. I laid down, waiting for what, I don’t know. The night went by and he never came around. I felt extremely lonely.