Redbone was playing in the background on repeat. It was one of the rare songs we could agree on. I’m not exactly sure what had came over me but I was crying the hardest I had ever in my life. I couldn’t stop myself. He kept holding onto me as long as it took. My tears and mucus made the shirt sopping wet on his chest. I kept crying and he kept reminding me that it wasn’t worth it.
I felt so small in his arms, smaller than I remember. Maybe I was feeling especially vulnerable but the more likely scenario was that climbing had really changed his body. All this time, maybe all I really needed was to be held.