I feel real awful. There are many things to look forward to in the weeks and months coming up but there are a couple of thoughts that I can’t shake off. Obsessive thinking. People have been kind. My friends have been taking care of me and bringing me out. Lots of laughing and excitement but there’s always a moment where I’ll play out the same few scenarios out in my head. And then reset.
Seek, protect, or serve?
I chose serve. I want to see people happy and I want them to be happy because of me. I want people to tell me exactly what it is they want me to do. Expectations are clear and I no longer need to be afraid of making the wrong decisions. I want to relinquish control and I want it to free me.
//
“Did the nightmares ever stop?”
Sometimes, but they always come back to haunt.