Just roused from a nap and I feel like it’s time to leave something here. I’m on a flight on the way over to Reykjavik, a layover on the way to London. I have about twelve hours to kill there; a sufficient amount of time to have a relaxed venture around and an early breakfast (I land around 5AM). It’s been quite some time since I’ve had an extended period of time to myself with no schedule to run on and I’m looking forward to it.
This was a little bit of an impulse trip. Okay, I lied — it was very much an impulse trip. I think things have been a little monotonous for me lately and I just needed a change in scenery. Most of my days are comprised of studying and it leaves me just enough time and energy for a run but not much of anything else. I’m happy enough just having an English dinner and a run along the Thames to change my days up.
Solo in a foreign city, what a joy. It’s nice not to be so conscious about those around me once in a while. Just stripping away all those formalities and expectations that I normally need to be cognizant about feels real good. It’s been long overdue and it’s time to focus on me without having to accommodate or check my decisions against those of others. Auto-pilot is on.
I often wonder about the friends who’ve fully determined (so they say) that they cannot appreciate being alone on a trip. Are they just unable to appreciate these kind of things? Are they cripplingly emotionally dependent? Maybe they just have to find the right places to be in.
Maybe I’m just wound-up, living a life with too much self-constraint and these intermittent escapes.
I’ve actually extremely relieve to get away from home. The negativity surrounding me is extremely suffocating. A lot of friends have been having a hard time and they’ve been blaming the circumstances. Most of them are having trouble in the dating world. Also, my parents have been fighting, my mom has been arguing with my sister and she’s been nagging me incessantly, a symptom of her sour mood.
I feel like I’m being dragged down.
I really don’t need that. I need to keep focused and it seems like the best place for me to be right now is anywhere but home. I’m feeling good and I’m not going to let anyone take that away. Not now and not after this year.