Author: L.A.

My insomnia has been particularly awful to me these last few days. It’s been so hard for me to get to sleep and with the chances that I do, I just keep waking through the night, even after having melatonin under my tongue. SOS. My sleeping arrangements have been so different night-to-night so maybe my body’s having a little trouble adjusting. I think I had a good opportunity to take a nap yesterday but I fucked it up by sipping on some pu er (poh leh?) during dim sum. Whoops. Anyways, I’m on a plane on the way to Shanghai. I thought I’d have better luck here being especially sleep-deprived but still no luck. So as usual, I’m here to ramble and complain.

I have to say, Chinese people are fucking weird. I’m allowed to say that, right? Never in my life have I been on a flight that has been more bewildering than the ones going to China. My first experience with a China flight was to Beijing, around the same time last year. Can’t say I’m used to the social mannerisms of those of the mainland. With that flight, garbage was strewn everywhere. On the table tops in the the waiting area and the plane floor. It was awful. People flooded the line to board, far before pre-boarding and couldn’t seem to understand how the boarding zones worked. At least there was a line, I guess. I remember eating A&W breakfast next to someone who shared the same flight with me, peeved at him chewing with his mouth open. Ugh, the worst! People just spoke in loud Mandarin all around, trying to speak over each other. It was a lot for me to handle and it was a small consequence for snagging a cheap flight.

This flight was a similar experience. While boarding, I was pushed by a much larger woman, trying to get ahead of me though I was clearly in front of her. I scolded her. Not even a minute later, I spotted an older man shamelessly pick his nose. I think he saw my disgust on my face and the extra space I gave him when I was walking past him down the aisle. And again, the Mandarin was irritatingly loud. Sometime during the flight, I had a Chinese congregation form in front of me. People were just standing around, talking, laughing, having multiple conversations over each other BUT REALLY LOUD. I started off with a very comfortable arrangement. My friend had upgraded me to the spacey emergency row and my neighbours were pleasant. (Both gentlemen in my row were not from China and I wonder if it would have been a different experience next to people who were. Am I being too prejudicial?) Fahrenheit 451 with Maximum the Hormone coming through my new headphones. Not bad, not bad at all. But suddenly I had these rowdy guys in front of me and I couldn’t stand it. It was so bad that I had to get up and ask a flight attendant to help do something about it. I’ve been starting to learn to speak up for myself.

“I hate to be a bother but there are a bunch of people —“

She cut me off because she knew exactly what I was talking about. While she apologized to me for having to deal with that, I watched a woman grab a large stash of cookies for herself from the kitchen storage area. One of the Chinese-speaking flight attendants went to shoo them off for me. Easy resolution, I guess.

I had a nice seat to observe people. I don’t know what it is but Chinese people really love to do these weird physical motions. I think they do it for health reasons and it’s part of some obscure Chinese self-help physiotherapy. Like any flight when the seatbelt sign turns off, many people get up, stand around, walking about to recirculate the blood in their legs. But many people on this flight were swaying their hips or squatting in the middle of the aisles. Bums an inch off the floor, up, bum back down, up again. People were also standing around, lightly pounding themselves with their fists against their wrists, their backs, their heads, each other. Bizarre.

// Beijing

I faced a few additional Chinese bad habits while I was in the city. People were spitting everywhere, I was being pushed around on transit, things like that. But apart from that, I had a really fun time exploring Beijing on my own. It was a super spontaneous; I barely had any idea where I was going and Google Maps was blocked but I managed to find myself catching sights and stumbling in areas that really took me by surprise. First thing I did after getting off the plane was wash up at my hotel. It was a “five-star hotel” but it was definitely a two-star hotel by North American standards. I remember scrutinizing the blackened, half-used eraser I had in a stationary box on my desk. I got in and out as soon as I can.

It was a couple of hours before sunrise. I didn’t have data so I simply decided to follow random strangers. I would change who to follow every here and there as my mood changed. Pretty soon, I found myself walking with a ton of people walking in the same direction. Followed them for a bit more and discovered the flag-raising ceremony that way. It was pretty cool. Have to say the Chinese anthem sounds pretty grand.

All throughout the city, people were standing around in groups doing tai-chi, dancing, badminton, etc., in the middle of nowhere. All in huge, thick jackets too. Chinese people really can’t deal with the cold. People were bundled up like it was Antartica. I was layered up with a sweater, skirt and scarf and so many people would ask me, “(need to insert this when I can access Google Translate) “ (You’re not cold?!) One guy yelled that to me while moving fast on a bike, as if he didn’t care to hear my answer. I weaved through spit on temple grounds, ate jien bing with extra hot sauce from a street cart, and survived crossing the streets. I remember sitting around a cute cafe, sipping on mulled wine somewhere in Hutong, a surprisingly hip area.

Hopefully this trip will be just as fun. I didn’t want to pack my Goose so I’m pretty much wrapped up the same way I was last year. Need to come up with something snappy when people ask me if I’m cold. Anyways, my energy’s dwindling. Sorry if my writing has lack of flow and is a little oddly segmented this post. Haven’t been able to think straight without enough sleep and the endless gin doesn’t help.

I don’t have access to Facebook, Instagram, etc. by the way. Don’t get offended. Get over yourself.