Title’s borrowed from Vice because there’s no better way for me to express how I feel. I can’t stress how much I like this as a topic to write about. I think it is especially relevant after a short trip in Winnipeg. To answer this frankly, my answer is yes, I experience a lot of prejudice when I am travelling. I think everyone will have a very different experience from one another by how they act, how they dress or simply because of how they look, etc. but I think I especially get a lot more of the strange behaviours from people. It’s a love-hate relationship but the perks generally outweigh the disadvantages. I think Asian girls (East-Asian, in particular) have it easier than people of other ethnicities; I can relate to mild forms of racism but not enough for it to be any detriment to my daily life. I’m actually quite thankful of my experiences with prejudice; they better equip me for future situations and they make good stories to tell.
I’m going to start off with my general experiences when I travel. Strangers always talk to me. In many cities, I think people see me as an ‘exotic’; I’m an Asian girl, with silver/blond hair, with a tattoo sleeve, usually with crazy nails and I can’t say I dress conservatively either. In some cities, I simply feel like I stand out because of the way I dress but in other cities, I feel totally out of place with everything combined and I find a lot of people staring at me and looking me up and down in cities like Winnipeg, Calgary, Seattle and Boston to name a few. I’m sure I look bizarre or eccentric to people in those cities so strangers off the street will approach me to start conversations with me. Usually, it will be to ask or complement me about my tattoos and as you would expect, most them are men who are trying to pick me up. (Life has been very different after getting a tattoo +I’ll be writing a post about that sometime after.) I often get asked where I’m from which leads to a conversation about why I’m in town… to what I’m doing at night… to whether I need company. It’s not a difficult thing to deal with but it’s usually an uncomfortable situation for me. It’s only unbearable when I have to deal with yellow-fever, or Asian fetishism and it happens a lot when I’m travelling in less multi-cultural cities. But, surprising enough, I even get that same exotic-factor to a certain degree in Asian countries. It doesn’t happen as often, at least until some kind of discourse begins but once I mention I’m from Toronto, it’s just as bad or even worse. I can see people’s eyes light up and they start to become very interested in what I have to say. And although I am Asian, many Asians who are born and raised inland don’t see me as an Asian girl first; they perceive me to be a Western girl above all else and automatically assume I am experimental, wild, open-minded, etc. These preconceived ideas are not too problematic; compared to many of the people there, I definitely am a lot less conservative but many times people will automatically sexualize this image of me and I suddenly become a caricature of “Girls Gone Wild”. Someone once asked me for permission to sext me because he learned it was a common thing in North America. It’s a gross feeling. I feel objectified, fetishized and, above all else, used. It has an ill-effect on how inland-born Asian women see me as well. I’m being stalked by a couple girls in Singapore even though I’m on the other side of the world and others have banned their boyfriends from chatting/hanging out with me because they see me as a threat. One girl got mad because her boyfriend offered and drove me home when I was on crutches. Go figure.
One important thing I’ve learned during my travels is that one of the best ways to stay safe is by blending into the crowd and with the physical attributes I mentioned, it’s been pretty hard for me in the last year. I wish I knew what made me a target for my accident in Bali. While some people tell me it was probably due to the way I dressed, others told me that it was simply because I looked East Asian and therefore was assumed that I was a rich girl. Two reasons, one within my control and one not; regardless, standing out puts me at high risk for thefts, scams, and danger in general. I stand out like a sore thumb and I think that’s also the reason why I am always ‘randomly’ selected for screening at the airport. I don’t know whether or not look shady but I always get the drug swab and the additional pat-down.
People always ask me for the time, for directions and to help them take a picture. It’s so strange. It happens so often that it gets pretty irritating. I walk away when I see a touristy-looking family pull out a camera because I know I’m the one they’re going to ask for help. The difference between my experience and those of my friends are pretty striking. I had a conversation about this with a girlfriend, Sonia, who told me that when she travels, people seldom approach her for directions, the time, etc. She attributes it to her ‘resting-bitch-face’. I attribute it to her witch-y aesthetic. I have to admit, I was pretty intimidated when I saw her and our friendship wouldn’t have been where it is today if it wasn’t for her speaking to me first, haha. Anyways, I think the easy-to-perceive characteristics come together for each person to create a degree of approachability. Despite my tattoos, Sonia thinks I have a high approachability factor because I have a happy disposition and I seem like a friendly person which I guess encourages strangers to talk to me.
I don’t experience a lot of racism, at least at a face-to-face basis but I have had my share of unfortunately situations. Strange enough, the most racism I have experienced in my life has been in Vancouver, where I’ve been told to go back to my own country (funny, because I was born in Canada). I do, however, experience more mild forms of racism and a lot of reverse racism. It really bothers me when people assume I am a certain ethnicity without asking me first. I get a lot of ‘nee-hao’s and ‘konnichiwa’s from strangers when I’m walking by, especially if they are trying to sell me something. Funny how people never ask me if I like French automatically assume I like sushi and bubble tea. I know most people are trying to be friendly but frankly, it’s a little presumptuous and that offends me. This racism isn’t restricted to non-Asians. A lot of people who make these assumptions of me are Asian themselves, speaking to me in Chinese without knowing whether I understand or not. Why can’t people ask first? In cities that are predominately very white, people always ask me where I’m from. Even if I’m minding my own business like buying something at the store, or just eating at a restaurant, I get that question all the time. Most people expect me to name an Asian country and they’re always in awe when I say I’m from Toronto. I also often get told “your English is really good” or “it really surprised me that you don’t have an accent”. A stranger at a Walmart went out of their way tell me the latter phrase when he overheard me asking staff where to find something.
Apart from the racial prejudices, I’d say that more often than not, preconceived perceptions of who I am as a person work in my favour. I’m pretty shy to approach people so it’s pretty easy to make friends if they’re approaching me first and now I’m fortunate to have a few friends in a few different cities. A trip to the bar is always an interesting one; people can quickly figure out that I’m not from around town so even though they ask that dreaded question of where I’m from, the usually conversation is harmless and I end up having a very interesting night with some quick tips on where to hit up in town. Sometimes if it’s with the bartender, it means a cocktail on the house! I can’t deny there are certain charms of being a travelling young girl. 😉 Anyways, learned some quick tips from someone who seemed to have mastered avoiding strangers talking to them (thanks Sandia!):
- Walk with headphones/earphones in
- Walk fast
- Walk with purpose
- Don’t make eye-contact with people.
- (and I think it would be helpful to) Practice resting-bitch-face